We're under attack - by Gin&Tonic the cats

T: We teamed up for this one so read it thoroughly. Lately, we are being attacked every morning by this prick. A real trouble maker, we swear. 

He comes by the front door, and damn he's big. Well, not as big as we can be when we activate the Sonic fur, but he's still big. 

Is he trying to intimidate us? We don't know, we don't care. 

We attack first - that's our motto. By the way, this is Tonic speaking. I asked Gin if he wants to narrate this one but since he is clearly scared by that son of a bad mommy, he said no. 

So this guy comes by and stares at me. What are you looking at mate? 

(I heard that if you use an Irish accent you seem more dangerous)

But he messes with the wrong cats! The moment I see him coming closer, I activate my Sonic fur and I jump on the door to scare the fur out of him. You know it, mate! Get out of here, this my house, buoy! 

Protect and Serve - that's the cats' duty. 

G: No, it's not...

T: Do you like your life, Gin?

G: still isn't but whatever. 

T: The idea is that this huge black cat is not allowed near my female human. It's enough that I have to share her with that entitled ginger ball of fur. No other cat will ever touch my female human!!! RAGEEEE!

F.H: ....but we want to adopt another one.

T: WHAAAAAAT???

Welcome to Tales with Gin and Tonic - the cats.