Weird Human Behavior Analysis - by Tonic the Cat

In case you were wondering why nor Gin or I wrote anything lately is because we (mostly me) were doing a very precocious analysis of the female human's behavior.

Day and night I didn't take my eyes off her, I took notes, I meowed louder than usual, I followed her absolutely everywhere. No break, I am telling you. Gin was doing his stuff. I don't know.

Something is happening, though. I intercepted a weird human behavior. I am getting close to the answer but still can't be sure what is going on.

First of all, the female human leaves the house now. Why is that I can't tell. I am here. Who else does she need? The big white box is full of delicious meals, so why would she leave the house? She is going out on the front door, and sometimes she misses for a whole day. In cat's time, that's a year! A YEAR!

How am I supposed to cuddle and sit in her lap all day if she leaves the house for a year? Unacceptable.

Decisions have been made

So, as a result of this disgracious behavior, I decided I will never get off her lap again. This way, she can't leave. I know she won't. She is always so careful with me. GOD, I ADORE HER. WHere in the cat's name does she go 2 days per week? If there's another motherfluffer, I am capable of anything with a negative impact on their health.

Gin is around, I guess. I don't think he notices when human leaves even if it's for a year. He is fat lately. It might be a year life crisis. Can't tell. We fight a lot, mostly because he keeps licking me, and that bothers me. I CAN CLEAN MYSELF! I am a full-grown up now, ok??? Cat's sake. Lately, I have anger issues because of the female human's rebellious behavior.

I gained a bit of weight myself, fine? I eat when I am stressed. You of all people should get me.


I decided I will go full sad eyes face if female human keeps leaving like that. In cat's translation, 'full sad eyes face' is the equivalent of anarchy. It's the worst thing a cat can do to punish the love of their life. So yes, I will do that. There's no turning back. Nuop. No no! Ok, maybe not now 'cause human is here now, and she gave me delicious foody today and snuggled me, but if she even dares to step out of the house, I am going for it. BIG TIME!

Welcome to Tales with Gin and Tonic - the cats. 


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