I live to protect - By Tonic the cat

I love female hooman. She is perfect. I follow her everywhere. If she goes to sleep, I go to sleep. If she eats, I will stare into her eyes, making sure nothing harms her. If she works, I will keep her warm and make sure her hands are covered.

I live to protect the female hooman. That's my number 1 mission. I was born for this, and I live to do it.

The female hooman hasn't left the house since March. Sometimes I think she is sad, so I will just stroll and cuddle in her lap. She generously pushes the laptop away so I can cover the whole lap and protect her better.

One day I heard a terrible scream coming from downstairs.

'I take1 minute break to do the poopoo and she's dying. Must run downstairs and fight the evil.'

She was screaming so loud, and the male hooman was doing something to her foot. I ran in her arms without considering the danger and started snuggling my head to her chin, licking her hand, chirping, so she knows I am there for her.

I don't know what that was, but I swear to God she needed me. If I weren't there, Cat knows what would have happened.

She can't do much without me. The danger is everywhere, so imagine if I weren't there to protect.

You know that she allows us into the big forest now, but what's the point if she's not there? Meh, not for me. If the female hooman is not spending time outside when I am out, there's no point. My mission is to protect her. What else is there to do? Yeah, ok, there's the delicious grass and places to conquer, holes to dig, buggies to attack, but my mission is to be where the female hooman is.

I don't care if some say I am needy or obsessed. When I do something, I do it perfectly. It's written in the manual:

'If the hooman sits down and looks extremely busy, you go and sit in their lap. Their vital organs need protection.'

'If the hooman goes to sleep, you need to march in the entire house, scavage every corner, scratch anything suspicious, make sure hooman is protected in her sleep. You are a soldier!"

So next time, my entitled brother, Gin, thinks I am obsessed, I will remind him he is just a fat fluff who forgot the mission.

If you're reading this and you are a cat, you need to stop what you are doing and remember the mission!

Welcome to Tales with Gin and Tonic - the cats. 


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